Puberty: Part 2
My body is going threw changes and I feel like a confused teenager. Many people told me that around 24 I would ‘calm down’ a bit but I had no idea bodies had such an internal clock. Often, I have been the girl going out almost every single night. Living the Hollywood nightlife. Rocking & rolling… you know how it goes in the night light. Adventures every night. Most of them involving large quantities of alcohol. Jack Daniels was my best friend and the night held my soul.
However, I have been very confused for about the past six months. All the parties are the same. All the faces are the same. The concerts and clubs are the same as they were 3 years ago, and the same as they will be 3 years from now. It was starting to feel like living in a party version of Groundhogs Day. It became not fun anymore.
I really felt this hard during AVN weekend. I use to be the girl up until 6am at the circle bar, than up again by 10am. I guess I didn’t need sleep then? I don’t know how I even pulled that off, I fucking love sleeping!! Well this year, I was freaking out. I felt mature… or old… or something gross!! I found myself thinking, “I should just stay in tonight so my skin looks good tomorrow & I’m rested for the days events.” I wasn’t looking to party anymore. I was looking to work and forward my career.
Then this past Saturday I went to a club for a friend’s birthday that I use to frequent weekly. It was fun, until about 1am. I got home & wished I left so much earlier. I hated the fact that I drank too much. I hated the fact I couldn’t get up early the next day to get things done. It sucked. I have also developed the gene for a hangover this past year. Before, I would wake up feeling great. Now, it’s a two-day process and that’s not worth it anymore. All the time I loose just stress me out now. Success became above nightlife.
Basically, Its weird how everyone is right. The party is over in my head and now I get more satisfaction out of success. I want to live and breathe my goals in order to become something great. Glad I got the Hollywood party craving years out of my system while still young. Nothing worse then a 40 year old mess of a girl still acting 25! Now it’s the time to look toward my future and accomplish my goals.
This is a quote I have always held very close “I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.” –Vincent Van Gogh.
I still love the nighttime more and am always more inspired once the sun goes down. I just believe its time now to take a break from the pointless alcohol and parties. Time to be inspired and inspire. Time to become a household name ;)
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